Monday, October 5, 2009

am i too emotional or too obsessed

hmmmm...judging from the title what would surely cross into your mind.

actually, i am having quite a bad day, apart from monday blues (you know what i mean....) with the stress from work, and not having a good rest, plus a headache of things to do and not to mention of the breastfeeding kamila spirit, that has nearly gone "poof",off from my list of things to do.

to think of the over emotionally thinking of wanting my baby to taste only my milk, instead of cow milk,etc.... what i can say that i am quite obsessed with it. i still do think that my baby would get the best from my own milk, but, it seems like mommy is just to tired to do all the pumping and couldn't have enough time to do all the pumping according to schedule.work is just too overloaded.(i managed to write today, as my boss is away...but, tomorrow...................)

i have tried baby, but, it seems like its not working!!! but, i still try to pump when i managed to sneak out off seminars or courses.but, it looks like my milk is getting dried up. i tried to look at others blogs to get the idea of how to increase my breastmilk, but, i do feel embarassed and down at myself,as they could even provide their young ones their own milk without help from other formula until up to 4 years. but me.........................................

kamila, maybe you'll be reading this when you're going to be much older and wiser. i am sorry. for not being able to provide you the best, yet i tried. i really tried. mama, always love you.

i will try to give you the best. mama is still trying to provide you my milk....i will do it until the last drop.

love you baby...


1 comment:

Ina said...

I know how you feel.. I've been through the same feeling.. took quite some time to let go, but when you finally do, your headache, tension, stress etc. will go "poof" also. cow milk pun sedap maa.. you shud be happy giving milk to your 1st baby.. not stressed (whatever milk cow or yours). when you r happy dont you think your baby is too?